What is Co-dependency?

When a person has a dysfunctional relationship dynamic as caregiver for a family member, friend or love interest, that person often sacrifices their own needs for the sake of the person they're supporting.
The caregiver feels the need to be overly helpful to people in their lives, often enabling unhealthy and destructive behaviors like addiction and financial irresponsibility. This condition is known as co-dependency. An example of this is when someone keeps providing funds to a person with a drug dependency.
 

Codependency is a term that is often used to describe an imbalanced relationship with a person who is consumed with the need to continually help someone afflicted with a drug addiction, although codependents enable people with various types of behavioral problems.  
 

Types of codependents

Codependents fit one of the following characteristics
 

Passive Codependents
They tend to have low self-esteem, fear being alone and may be in relationships with controlling and abusive narcissists. They avoid conflict and sometimes secretly harbor anger and resentment toward their abusers.

Active Codependents
They use aggression and control to persuade narcissists to love, respect and care for them. They can be confrontational and will often justify their actions if they believe their methods are effective.
 

Cerebral Codependents
They immerse themselves in educational and transformational experiences as a coping mechanism for narcissistic abuse. They believe they can solve the problem with the information they know.
 

Oblivious Codependents
They are in constant denial of their problems. They rationalize their dysfunctional relationships and ignore signs of abuse and destructive behavior, which keeps them complacent and comfortable.
 

'Anorexic Codependents
They feel powerless to the narcissist they're in a relationship with, so they surrender to the abusive patterns of destructive behavior. Unable to bear the pain, they starve themselves from love, emotion and sexual intimacy. Eventually they subject themselves to their narcissists' control once again.
 

What are some common signs of codependency?

People who are codependent are often the "giver" in a relationship. They make themselves overly responsible for the "taker" in their relationship by wanting to fix and rescue others, so they can feel needed. They can be perfectionists and extremely critical of themselves, which can indicate low self-esteem and a reluctance to be assertive.  This person may have difficulty setting boundaries with "takers." The takers normally struggle with mental health problems, addiction issues, emotional immaturity and other issues that may require professional help to overcome.

https://novarecoverycenter.com/addiction/13-warning-signs-codependency/

For people who are codependent or know people in dysfunctional relationships, here are warning signs of codependency:


1,  Trouble articulating feelings and emotions.
2.  The need to be liked

3.  The need to control and fix others.

1. Trouble setting clear boundaries in your life.

1. Setting aside your own interests to do what others want.

1. Being loyal to a fault.

1. Ignoring or denying problems.

1. Suppressing thoughts and feelings out of fear or guilt.

1. Low self-esteem and self-worth.

1. Feeling responsible for other people’s feelings and actions.

1. Having poor communication skills.

1. Being withdrawn and depressed.

1. Refusing to seek help because you feel like the problem isn’t bad enough.

Statistics on Codependency in the U.S.

According to a study that aimed to identify codependency in women undergoing treatment for depression, the results found that of the 40 million Americans who are depressed, women were primarily labeled as codependent.

What is the link between Codependency and Depression?

People who are codependent are often depressed. The low self-esteem and emotionally reactive characteristics that depressed individuals possess will often cause the unhealthy behavior pattern of codependency.

Characteristics of people with Codependency.

People with codependency often exhibit a set of particular characteristics.

• 
  They are normally the caretakers in a dysfunctional relationship

• They're people pleasers with an abnormal need to be liked

• They have low self-esteem and low self-worth

• They have difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries

• They are being controlled by others

• They are often victims of manipulation

What is the link between codependent relationships and addiction?

Codependency was a term that was developed to better understand the destructive dynamic in a relationship where unhealthy behaviors are associated with a loved one's addiction. Codependent people often excused the addict’s behavior. They provided excessive support emotionally and financially

What causes codependency?

People with codependency often have a family close friend or family member who struggles with an addiction or mental illness. They may also have a history of dysfunctional family dynamics. A childhood trauma could have led them to relationships that made them anxious or insecure.

 

Ways to stop codependency

Codependents can stop unhealthy behavior patterns in relationships by setting boundaries with people they have lopsided relationships with or people who are abusive.

 

How do I stop enabling?

Separate yourself from the problem, not the person
Set boundaries and adhere to them

Solidify your position and know where you stand
 

BENEFITS OF SETTING-BOUNDARIES

Bеnеfіtѕ of Boundary Setting

Helps to improve the well-being of others

Creates healthy and balanced relationships

Helps people to break free of the pain caused by bad behavior.

Increases self-esteem and maintain self-respect

Helps people gain more respect from others

Promotes healthy and honest communication

What is the difference between a healthy relationship and a codependent relationship?
 

A healthy relationship involves two people who give and receive equally. They know who they are individually and do no base their identity on their worth to the other person in the relationship. A codependent relationship is unhealthy, imbalanced and one where one person feels obligated to take over the caregiver role. The caregiver does not receive support and care in return, but always wants to be helpful to their loved one. In fact, many codependents feel as if they need to rescue the other person in the relationship and that they are the only one who will do it. This dynamic enables the taker and creates an unhealthy behavior pattern.

Is there medication for codependency? Generally, no. Treatment for codependency usually involves a person safely working through their behaviors and feelings.

What is Dependency vs. codependency? 
When dependency is healthy, it is referred to as interdependency, which helps you with practicing the best behavior. Codependency refers to the practice of giving the most in a relationship and becoming lost with feelings of low self-worth.

 

What happens when a codependent person is alone?
As adults, codependents can get caught in a self-defeating cycle of loneliness, shame, and depression. Repeated break-ups and abandoning relationships can foster a worsening cycle of abandonment.

 

What are the Common roles of dependency?
The Addict

The Caretaker

The Hero

The Scapegoat

The Mascot

The Lost Child

 

Is codependency a form of anxiety?

Codependents tend to worry and take on other people's feelings and problems. This creates high levels of stress and anxiety referred to as “anxious codependency.”
 

What is the opposite of codependency?
The opposite of codependency is counter-dependency. This term refers to a person who has a fear of depending on other people or appearing to feel in need.